There was a time, there really was, when I was sweet and tender
When “Show Dog” meant a Disney Star, and bitch was not a gender.
I went to bed at half past ten, and went to church on Sunday
On Saturday I baked the beans, and did the wash on Monday.
But then I got a certain pup, and an erstwhile friend said “SHOW”
And so I did, and so I do - Ah! What I didn’t know.
I used to dress with flair and style - that was the life - don’t knock it
But now each dress from bed to ball, must have a good treat pocket.
I used to have a certain air - I wallowed in perfume
I used to smell of Nuit D’Amour - Now I smell like Mr Groom.
My furniture was haute decor - my pets a tank of guppies
Now, I’ve loads of unstuffed furniture, and well adjusted puppies.
Once I spoke in pristine prose, in dulcet tones and frail
But now I’m using language that would turn a sailor pale.
I was taught to be well groomed no matter where I went
Now all the grooming that I do is in the handlers tent.
I used to long for furs and jewels and a figure classed as super
The thing I now yearn for most, is a nice new pooper scooper.
I adored a man who murmured verse through an intimate little dinner
But now the words I thrill to hear are “You are the top class winner”.
I rise at dawn and pack the car - the road ahead’s a long one
The one I planned with all the maps, invariably is the wrong one.
I really love this doggy life - I wouldn’t dare to change it
But when I get that Best In Show, I plan to rearrange it.
When my time on earth is done, I’ll go without much nudging
Just give me 3 weeks closing date and let me know whose Judging !!!!!! :o)))))))))
Kaeleon Border Collies: www.kaeleon.com